Just my thoughts for the day...

I feel tired. If you would be teaching children hawaiian dance and you don't even have the talent in dancing, I'm sure you'd feel the same. Who wouldn't? I was sitting at the lobby of the institution, where they take care of abandoned and abused children, when one of the young girls that we were teaching came to me and said, 'Could you visit us after this is all through?' I paused, not knowing what to say, but then I responded, 'I'll try.' The young girl smiled and left after my reply. As I watch her go I felt a slight pinch in my heart because I am not sure if I would be able to come back to visit them. At least I didn't promise her anything. I wouldn't want to break her heart if I didn't keep my promise so I didn't make one. But I do hope I would be able to come back some time in the future. I also felt happy because that girl still wanted to see me even though we just spent a short while together. Our classes with them aren't over yet but I know it would definitely be hard to say goodbye.

I feel incomplete. This is most probably the after effect of watching Ashton Kutcher, his handsome face, his breath-taking smile, his amazing physique, his wit and charm and definitely... it has something to do with his chin. ;) Anyway, I would want my own Simon Green (...or Noah Calhoun) someday. Someone who is completely the opposite of me, my better-half...someone, as Kutcher said, who would complete me. Though how cheesy Jerry Mguire's one-liner, 'You complete me' may seem, it still makes me smile and think that hopefully someday there would be someone who would feel that way to me and I would gladly reciprocate the feeling.

I honestly feel fat. I know I am and I can't deny that fact. Argh! Though how many times I keep making myself feel that it doesn't matter or I don't care what other people think...I do know it still matters. This world can be a stereotypical world. Sad but true. And often, people still think that what is sexy is that 24-inch waistline or having a 36 cup A bra size. I may rationalize that it doesn't matter because my brain is bigger than my breasts. And I'd rather be smart than be pretty like Barbie but have a 'pea-sized brain'...if you know what I mean? It's true...appearance matters. I would probably walk on a street, accidentally drop my things and no one would even bother to help me. But if a long-haired girl in a tube top, showing off her sunken umbilicus, with breasts the size of a melon (a big one) asks a guard in front of the Senate where Robinson's Ermita is, he, plus a dozen of other guards would probably be more than willing to escort her, with their eyes popping out, even though it is just a few meters away. ;) Just kidding. I may sound too harsh already. Anyway, what the heck?! Though how judgmental some people in this world may be...it doesn't matter. Because I know this world is temporary and I have Someone up there who sees through me...Who doesn't care if I may have oily skin...act boyish...have pimples, stretchmarks, cellulites and the like... ;) ... and much more...I need not mention all because there isn't enough time and space. ;) But what matters to Him is what's inside my heart. And I would want to fill it with so much beauty for His glory.

Oh well...life has its moments. This day probably isn't as good as yesterday or the day before but each day has its own ups and downs, right? At least I learn something different or various extremes (good/bad, smart/stupid, sexy/fat, pretty/ugly) each day. I guess, I just have to make the most out of it and hopefully make me a better person...better than I was yesterday or the day before...or whatever! ;)