Reflections...

It's Christmas break! I have long awaited for this time. And now that it's finally here, it feels odd. I would rather be at the 7th floor Left Central Block of the Philippine General Hospital than stay at home doing nothing... I guess I just want to be busy. For it is when I do nothing that I get to think about a lot of things. And I honestly hate thinking. It makes me wobbly and woozy inside.

As I enter the vacuum of my mind, I came across three realizations...

Realization No. 1 You cannot have everything.
2005 has been a blast for me. I have been blessed by God with so many things. I won in photography contests (National Institutes of Health and Philippine Star's Photosynthesis); I've been to Boracay (c/o Kimberly Clark), Batangas (Nursing Student Council outing), Puerto Galera (w/ my Tokyo-tokyo barkada), Bohol (Summer vacation with my family), and Hongkong (Sembreak escapade); I got accepted to be a part of Candy Magazine's 6th Council of Cool; I won as University of the Philippines-Manila's Most Outstanding Artist of the Year; I became a College Scholar; and I passed the International English Language Testing System (IELTS). This year, I was able to meet and work with great, talented people. The big BUT is that... Ok, wait. Let's put it this way...Imagine Harry Potter, the boy-who-lived, will not be able to enter Hogwarts, his dream school. I am Harry Potter and it is my reverie to walk along the halls of Hogwarts. But I guess that would just remain a trance. I can't blame anyone else...I know it's my own fault. I failed to mull over my magical books plus the fact that I hate Potions and Arithmancy. Anyway, another thing...Harry Potter was not able to date Cho Chang for the Yule Ball. Which brings me to my...

Realization No. 2 Love is such a complicated thing.
As is na lang... It's hard to explain eh. What I know is, you like someone who either likes someone else or doesn't like someone else but wouldn't like you. Gets mo ba? Haha... Sabi ko na eh, it's complicated. And pwede rin na someone likes you but you don't like that person because you like someone else. Hihi... I'm having fun na! Isa pa, why do guys just give signs? Why not tell the person exactly how you feel? I guess if you don't, you don't really like the person because you don't have the guts to be true about how you feel. Ouch! It's like I'm throwing stones at my own head. But what am I to do? Tell him I like him or just wait and see? <-- As you can see, I'm confused! Let's just say that I'm totally clueless (in other words...shongaks!) when it comes to love. Anyway, I have just finished reading After Eden and it's true...though how complicated it can be, we still long for love. I am Eve and I hope I'll be in Eden with my Adam someday.

Realization No. 3 Family is the stickiest.
No matter who you are, whatever you do, whereever you are...your family will stick by you. Honestly, I consider myself as a blacksheep. Kung may prodigal son, ako ang prodigal daughter. Haha! Bad girl kasi ako. But I know, despite my weaknesses my family will be there for me through thick and thin. Especially my mom. I know she'll still accept and love me no matter how filthy I am. I'm trying to pull myself away kasi I don't want her to miss me if ever I'll go away next year. It's difficult for me. I hate to see her cry but I am often the reason she does. I know she has a lot of concerns already so I rarely open up to her kasi ayoko nang dagdagan pa ang mga iniisip niya. I hope she knows I do love her so much.

To everyone, Merry Christmas! I hope you had a great year din. I pray that God will continue to be with each and everyone of us in the coming year. Make sure you let your loved ones know how much you love them. And please don't fail to make a good deed before the year ends or just try to make someone smile. You won't regret you did.